Sep 27, 2019

My life is of the loneliest kind. Drifting in the space, alone, isn’t the path for extroverts. I don’t mind that though. Granted, I was born this way. I don’t know any other life. I don’t know what it is like to be a moon, a planet or a star… I was born to live the life of a comet. A visitor. A drifter. The long-haired… You wouldn’t actually recognise me most of the time. There is no fancy tail when I am travelling in the darkness. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing pretty. Just an ordinary chunk of ice and stone floating in the blackness. The true spectacle comes only once in a while. It can be decades, even millenia for some of us, before we grow into the glory the world knows us by. It’s not a lovely experience, however. The beauty is derived from pain. From horrid pain… Imagine being locked in a space that is so cold that atoms hardly move for most of your life. Then, out of a sudden, you arrive close to a ball of gas. A glowing ball of gas, glowing so brightly it destroys your vision. Only thing you can see is the brightness. Nothing else. You see so much that you don’t see anything. It’s aggressive, painful light that pushes into your mind. And that’s not all. Light brings heat. Incredible heat. Unbelievable heat. Heat so potent that your insights that were frozen solid for years suddenly explode and expand. You start sweating your whole body out in seconds. You radiate water and dust. Your body is trying to escape the way it came from in order to get out of the agony caused by heat. This is the pain that creates the beautiful tail you came to know and desire to see. We have to endure this state for days before we finally escape. Escape back into the abyss we came from, only to relive our trauma in the future. Over and over again. Until we get evaporated and become one with the universe. They say that you must suffer to be beautiful. But would anyone want to go through such torment only to experience a flimsy moment in the spotlight? I wouldn’t. But I have to. I was destined to do it. And there is no changing my fate. It’s written in the laws of the universe. I can only cherish the moments of cold that numb my pain. Try to forget the torture and enjoy what little I can in this life. Forgotten, just hours after the spectacle, by everyone. Lost.